If Change is Constant, What Are the Variables?
by Vorcanox
Summary: “There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find how you yourself have altered” - Nelson Mandela. Spock returns to Vulcan after 5 years aboard the Enterprise. Prompt from trileaderroses from promptdujour LJ community.


The heat hit him as he stepped out of the small shuttlecraft. There was a hot breeze that shifted the hair on his forehead, and dust began to collect in his eyes. He could not recall how long it had been since he'd felt the sensation of grit across his face. It was a nostalgic feeling, conjuring memories of observing desert creatures sprinting across open stretches of sand that extended for miles into the distance. Spock mentally shook himself into the present. It was the first time he'd returned to Vulcan in five years, excluding a brief visit to attend to the _pon farr_. He was home.

The air in his family's residence was somewhat stifling, with no breeze to move the heavy atmosphere. Spock was used to the positively chilly climes of the Enterprise, and was mildly concerned by the fact he hadn't adapted to the weather yet. The higher gravity was also rapidly causing fatigue and slight shortness of breath. Looking at the clock on the shelving unit leaning against the far wall, Spock saw that his mother was not due to meet him for another ten minutes and forty-five seconds. Next to the timing device was a collection of items of interest. There was an ancient statuette of a sehlat, crafted only a few hundred years after Surak's teachings became law. Lying next to it was a crudely hewn flute, carved from the bark of a tree found on the slopes of Mount Seleya. Spock walked slowly towards the shelf, examining the items. They seemed oddly exotic to him, even though they were artifacts of his home planet. A holographic picture of his mother standing with his father in the small garden in the back of the property was central to the display. They were surrounded by bushes with delicate red flowers. Spock recalled vividly a moment from his childhood when he asked his mother what type of flowers they were.

"They're known as hybrid tea roses, Spock," Amanda explained, "they're created by cross-breeding two different types of roses, and they exhibit a blend of the characteristics of the parent plants." She paused and allowed a smile to cross her face.

"I planted these the day Sarek and I decided to try and create you, Spock."

_They appear the same now as they did when this photograph was taken, _Spock mused, _both his parents and the plants._ He picked up the photo and turned it over in his hands. The date on the base of the holographic projector indicated the picture was taken approximately 16 years ago. Spock frowned slightly. The picture closely correlated with his departure from Vulcan to join Starfleet.

_How is it that they have not changed significantly? So much has happened between then and now, _Spock reflected. He looked back at the shelf. His younger self looked back at him. Another holograph, portrait style, of Spock wearing the traditional vestments of a recent graduate.

_While my parents may not have changed, I certainly have_, Spock thought wearily.

The Spock in the picture carried himself differently, with his shoulders held starkly upright and his chest thrust slightly forwards. This contrasted to the somewhat slouched posture of the contemporary Spock, a result of hunching over his science station instruments for hours on end. The faint creases at the corners of his eyes were absent, and his skin was somewhat brighter in the picture. Spock was not chronologically old for a Vulcan, as they can live close to two hundred years. Spock looked old as a result of the harrowing experiences he'd been through over the course of his Starfleet career. In his mind's eye he replayed the time he'd thought the Captain was lost in a different dimension as the Tholian's spun their deadly web around the Enterprise. That event brought him and McCoy closer together than he would have imagined possible. The horrific image of a dying McCoy flared up forcibly, and Spock recalled their encounter with the Vians and the empath Gem. Before he could lose himself entirely in his thoughts, he was jerked back to reality by the arrival of his mother.

They exchanged formal greetings and inquired after each other's health.

"You look so tired, Spock! Was your flight long?" Amanda fussed over her son as he reassured her he was quite all right.

"The heat is somewhat oppressive, but other than that I am quite well", Spock admitted. A look of concern flashed in Amanda's eyes.

"The heat? I'm surprised you notice it, you've never mentioned it before."

"I am not used to this climate, Mother. The Enterprise is much cooler than this to accomodate for the lower ideal ambient temperature of humans." Spock didn't understand why this bothered his mother, and asked her as much.

"Oh, its just somewhat unsettling, is all. Its a physical reminder of how long you've been gone from home", Amanda's eyes started to mist over slightly. "I am pleased you have finally returned."

That evening Spock stood on the balcony in the cool night air. Vulcan has no moon, but the brilliance of the stars compensated adequately. A faint glow near the zenith of the sky was fixated upon by Spock's stare. This glow was Sol, the star that Earth was elliptically looped around in orbit. Spock knew the Enterprise would have reached the outer limits of that system precisely one hour ago. Soon they would be docking at Starfleet Command and the crew would begin to disperse. He allowed his mind to wander slightly, contemplating where the members of the crew would be headed. Chief Engineer Scott would return to Scotland, he'd indicated as much when he loudly complained of being "unable to find scotch as good as the stuff back home". Doctor McCoy would likely stay near Starfleet headquarters, tending to the wounded that occasionally arrived from the starships that constantly flew in and out of the space stations. Lieutenant Uhura would be in Nigeria with her family. Captain Kirk...Spock's eyebrow shot up as he realized he had no idea where Jim would end up. He could not recall the Captain mentioning his plans for when he arrived home. Surely he would be promoted to Admiral, _but then what?_ Spock pondered. He logically deduced that Jim would stay close to the Starfleet Academy and Space Station. Jim loved the Enterprise more than anything in this universe, and he loved adventuring through space. It was inconceivable for Jim to do anything else. His time in space had changed him far too much to return to a civilian life, or even an adminstrative career that befitted an Admiral. Spock halted on this thought. If Jim had changed that much, was it not likely he himself had also changed substantially? He thought of his reaction to the heat, his appearance now compared to his photograph. He stared at the desert plains, watching the sands snake away with each gust of wind. What if he had been irrevocably damaged by all he had been through?

The view in front of him was the same as when he had looked upon it, all those years before he'd left this planet in search of dozens more throughout the galaxy. The cry of a predatory nocturnal bird rang through the night. The once familiar sound echoed strangely, and Spock controlled his feelings of fear and uncertainty about his ability to function in Vulcan society. Vulcan was the same. Spock most certainly was not.


End file.
